Thursday, September 30, 2010

"Doubt thou the stars are fire"

Doubt Thou the Stars Are Fire

Doubt thou the stars are fire,
Doubt that the sun doth move,
Doubt truth to be a liar,
But never doubt I love.

Act II, Scene II

Ethan Hawke was the best Hamlet ever until last night.. I did the "to a nunnery" scene with a stranger in a back office and then we sat quietly and then we did the scene again in a dim room.. intense.. I'm reluctant to actually put a word on the feelings that scene with him provoked. i'd done the scene with others and only this one Hamlet made me true true Ophelia... hurt and attracted and trying to put the pieces of him back together and his hands on me I go over it again and again in the fog of a small space and in the clear light of day and imagine what it would be like to kiss the lips of my Hamlet for during that scene our hearts beat palpably as one and our clarity resounded... What haunts came to light in his eyes I saw with such pristine clarity and surprise he saw the the same haunts in mine.. startling... and maybe what touched me the most was not his hands though his hands did touch me perfectly as night touches the grass, what touched me most was what we saw and our reactions.. he saw all too clearly into my eyes and what he saw surprised him but didn't scare him and he drew me closer than any has dared and I did the same for him... him who? Was it him or was it Hamlet? Was it me or was it Ophelia? Was it real or was it the real God given spell power of Shakespeare? Both? I don't need to ask if he felt it too because I know right well he did... round and round... from 1980 to now from the bottom of the map to the top... "never doubt that I love"


October horoscopes coming out sometime on Saturday or Sunday... how I love October my ghosts!

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

September Monthly Horoscopes

Dear Readers- You may have noticed that I have discontinued the weekly fortunes and the weekend tarot. My schedule has just not allowed for me to write those lately. The weekly fortunes will start again next week. Also I have been unable to read and comment on the blogs I love reading. Hopefully by next week I will be able to read more as well.

photo by Irving Penn

Do you remember shooting them in the heart? Does it come back to you now as in a dream? It wasn't a dream, you did it and worst of all you justified it with petty concerns. And worst of all you did it because they were different and that scared you. HOWEVER they have risen and forgiven you. Forgive yourself now. You deserve nothing but happiness these days.

What do you think you are doing? How does that compare with what you are actually doing? You know there is only one person you think of when you climax. They think of you too. So why are you not together? The reasons for that separation might be legit or they might be trivial. If they are trivial toss them aside, swallow your pride and love.

Odd how some people love you for the exact reasons others shun you. Some who shun you probably love you too but they just know they can't handle someone like you. It is a compliment really.

Undo that knot you have tied yourself into. Spread out. Breathe. Don't waste your power. Don't waste your life.

Succumb to the seduction of the cool darkness. Not the monster under your bed or the torments in your head type of darkness but the soft cool darkness of rest and renewal and letting go. Once you succumb to that you will ache less. You will find yourself at the shore like a whole sand dollar without even a nick. Shored up perfection.

Sometimes it seems you have been through so much with certain friends that you could write a survival guide of sorts. What it comes down to is this: love them but don't let them objectify you. Turn the corner.

Don't let yourself suffer from an atrophy of the mind. Stretch those muscles. Challenge yourself. Watch THE HOURS, FUR and FAR and AWAY. Channel Nicole Kidman this month. She is scrappy. She is dynamic. She chooses roles that challenge her and the viewer. Don't be afraid to change. Don't be afraid to surprise and even vex those who might think they have you pegged.

Now is all you have. If you keep on the past like the past you will disintegrate.

Do you remember the part in Bambi where his mother dies? That is such a sad part. His life is so uncertain He will have to fend for himself. By the end of the movie Bambi has his own family, his own life. Even though he suffered that unimaginable tragedy of losing his mother when he needed her most, in time he found happiness. Like Bambi, you now need to fend for yourself and find your own family, your own life. By the time all is said and done your own tragedy will be behind you. You will find happiness as long as you don't stop trying and as long as you continue to remain open to the magic of life. Don't be afraid to smile.

Would you believe that one friend who no longer speaks to you misses you sometimes? That even though they have moved on they want you to be happy and they even remember the good times fondly? Allow yourself to see the best in people. Allow yourself to loosen your fist. You have done a lot of good recently. Doing good doesn't give you a license to do bad. But you know that. Have faith in the universe. The universe has faith in you.

Sometimes you feel you are a sad clown. Isn't that better and braver than just being sad?

Allow yourself those extra minutes in bed. Allow yourself to wander through the images in your head. Make a soundtrack for these last days of summer.