Sunday, January 10, 2010

Weekly Fortunes January 10th - 16th

Start investing in local artists this week. It doesn't have to take a lot of dough. Think HERB AND DOROTHY Vogel. Do you feel like the sad clown sometimes? Don't worry too much about it. We all have pain and the weak wear it like a badge, like they are the only people with problems. It takes a strong person to smile through it. You are stronger than you think! Mohammed Ali was a Capricorn.

Stop worrying about what you think you want. Forget want altogether this week. Open yourself up to what you need. It might be the same as what you need or it might not. For example some people might want to do heroin or something but what they NEED is a sliced apple with peanut butter.

Sincere intentions are fine but they add up to a big nothing without action. Action is key this week. Have the balls to follow through on your convictions. Make homemade strawberry shortcake. If you were a rapper, what would your stage name be?
Try to summon the confidence that most rappers have. Believe that you are the best at what you do and back it up. Hustle hard to make your dreams real.

Stop lying to yourself. Stop fronting to others. No one is buying it and no one ever will. Sure you might fool someone for a few minutes but eventually what you really are comes forth. You might as well just take off your mask. People who don't like who you really are aren't worth your rapidly evaporating time anyway.

Have you considered going platinum blonde? Remember that socks don't have to match to keep your feet warm. Cozy up to someone who doesn't match your usual friends. Don't boss love around too much this week or you might just get fired.

Get physical this week. You don't have to pick a side. People who try to get you to feel insecure are full of crap. You are under no obligation to be consistent. Embrace your contradictions.

If someone really loves you they will love you in spite of you metaphorical frozen nosehairs. In fact your imperfections will be a turn on. What far off destination would you like to spend New Year's Eve 2011? Start saving now and make it happen.

If you must bite your tongue in a certain situation, at least keep a journal where you can vent. Clean out your fridge and pantry. Get rid of old underwear and socks. Discard relationships that no longer fit you and leave your feet cold and your bum bare.

If you have been shady for awhile now and thought you were getting away with it know this: no one gets away with anything. Eventually the gig will be up. If you have been "good" than reward yourself with food sex. If you aren't into that learn the art of reading tea leaves.

Get a life. Get up. Get out there and get it. You deserve to be happy. Realize that no one can make you unhappy. If you are unhappy blame yourself. We are all responsible for our own happiness. Whatever happened was as much your fault as theirs. Move on. Discover what thrills you to pieces. If you think that nothing thrills you, kill yourself. Just kidding dear Libra! If you aren't sure what really takes an axe to the frozen pound cake inside you, start volunteering. Helping others will help you.

Channel Marie Laveaux to get the lovin you crave this week. Put a spell on them, one way or another!

"Fox in the snow where can you go to find something you can eat? The word out on the street is that your starvin... Listen to your crazy laugh..." You think you are approaching the end of something but the adventure is only just started. Hop on the streetcar. You know the one: DESIRE.